A "habit" is an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary. An "addiction" meanwhile, can be defined as a habit you can't give up without feeling some adverse effect. In the simplest terms, all it takes to break any bad habit or addiction, is a decision, and a way of supporting that decision until the job is done.

But if you feel it never CAN be done, that you are forever stuck with your affliction, then here are some things to think about...

• The 7 Steps to I.M.P.R.O.V.E

• The Secret to Breaking Any Bad Habit or Addiction

• The Reason People Relapse

• Reject That You Are Powerless

The 7 Steps to I.M.P.R.O.V.E.
How to steadily overcome any bad habit or addiction.

For personal guidance or group facilitation of The 7 Step Method, email leesa@habitbusters.com

1. Identify What You Really Need

You know what you don't want, but until you've clearly identified what you do want, how can you see any options to get it? The first step is to identify the subconscious needs that are driving your behavior. Once you understand what you are really after, you can choose a healthier way to get it.

For example, do you want a cigarette, or do you want to feel calm and in control? Do you want a drink, or do you want to feel more relaxed and confident? Do you really want to put another $100 chip on the table, or do you just want another round of excitement?

What is the actual feeling you are trying to get through your unwanted habit or behavior?


2. Make It Essential

Ever notice how you usually accomplish the things you must do, while the things you should do typically get postponed? Think of your basic daily functions. Should you eat, sleep, drink, or bathe upon occasion? Or are those things you MUST do? How about getting dressed, going to work, or putting gas in your car? Are those things that you should merely get around to sometime? Or have you decided they are absolutely essential to your day?

The key in this step is to discover your own most compelling reasons for making the desired change. By fully associating to the undeniable consequences of your behavior, you'll quickly find the necessary motivation. What are three essential reasons that are compelling enough for you to finally get the job done?


3. Pick and Choose Your Beliefs

At the root of every action, you have many beliefs about yourself and your environment. Some of those beliefs are good for you. Some, not so good. Now you must decide which are which. You must figure out how to strengthen the beliefs that support you, and drop the ones that no longer do you any good - no matter how much comfort they may have given you in the past!

Within your environment, you must evaluate whatever is influencing your behavior - the external pressures that currently distract and threaten you. Within yourself, you must root out the mental, physical, and emotional patterns that reinforce your habit and tempt you to give in. More precisely, if you'll look at the actual symptoms of your beliefs - the things you typically think, feel, say, and do whenever indulging in your habit - you'll get a pretty good idea of what's really going on in your head.

This is where the real work must be done, but contrary to popular opinion, it doesn't take years of therapy or anonymous support groups. What it takes is the courage to ask yourself better questions, the flexibility to choose better answers, and the courage to believe in your own highest truth.

So what do you believe is true about your habit? What do you believe is true about yourself? And do those beliefs help you or harm you? Do they limit you? Or do they liberate you?


4. Replace The Behavior

All your behavior is driven by your beliefs. Once you know how to choose between beliefs that serve you, and beliefs that enslave you, you'll be free to make healthier decisions, and to behave in ways that are healthier for you all around. Remember, you can't just erase a behavior, you have to replace it with something even better.

The best way to do that is by building on a solid foundation. Start here: What is one invincible truth you're absolutely certain of, or what is one good thing you believe that has stood the test of time? Doesn't matter how small or insignificant it may seem - if its real for you, then its real important! Take a moment now to think of something you know in your heart is true, and then answer the following question: "Knowing that fact is true, how does it make me feel?"

The same thing goes when developing a new habit. With regards to creating a "powerful new identity", one that is stronger than your unwanted habit, what is one small truth that you're absolutely certain of, and what is one definite step you can take to immediately begin expressing it? Now what actions can you take in this very moment, to move towards developing an entirely new behavior, in support of a fragile new belief?


5. Over and Over Again

The fact is, you can instantly change your behavior, but the real challenge is learning how to accept your own truth as being greater than the stories other people are selling you. Here, repetition is the key. Over the years, your mind has been unconsciously programmed to serve others, now, you must consciously train it to serve yourself. You must exercise your own power of choice over and over again, constantly choosing the new behavior in a variety of situations.

Gradually, you will re-condition yourself to prefer the healthier option. This is the part that always takes time, but don't get caught in the trap of perpetual recovery. The question to ask at this point is "How will you know when you have finally won the battle? How will you know when at last you have fully recovered, and there is nothing left to fear?"

Whatever actions you have chosen to replace the old behavior, you must now constantly repeat those actions until you know the job is done.


6. Validate Your Progress

By this stage you are well on your way to transforming your beliefs and behavior. You have identified what you really want; you have acquired the necessary motivation to see it through; you have eliminated the unhealthy mental, physical, and emotional patterns that have been holding you back; you have replaced those unhealthy patterns with beliefs that serve you; and you have spent a period of time aligning your daily actions with your true values and objectives.

Now, the best thing you can do is constantly catch yourself doing things well. By focusing on the positive aspects of your progress, you not only validate your own judgment and self-worth, you invalidate the negative programming that had previously been oppressing you. As you focus more and more on the small but definite improvements you are making, you will quickly gain the momentum to break free entirely.


7. Environmental Support

For improving your behavior, a supportive environment isn't a luxury. It's a necessity. It's imperative to catch yourself doing things well. And to truly reinforce your new behavior, it's also important to get the encouragement of others. By creating a supportive environment, enlisting the help of others who know what you are up against, and surrounding yourself with happy, healthy people, you are far more likely to get where you want to go.

Avoid people who want to commiserate, lay blame, make excuses, dwell upon the drama, and generally drag you down. Instead, surround yourself with people who encourage your success. Seek people who have the ability, not just the desire to help you get results.

Now you are free not only to choose your course of action, but to share what you have learned with others. At this point there is no turning back. You have seen the truth of your own personal responsibility, and the power to create your fate.

The Secret to Breaking Any Bad Habit or Addiction


It's very simple. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your choices. When you make choices that are good for you, you feel good about yourself, do good things for yourself, and have many good experiences.

When you make choices that are bad for you, you feel bad about yourself, do bad things to yourself, and have many bad experiences. One road leads to pleasure, the other, pain...

Have you ever wondered why people do things that are clearly harmful to their health? Perhaps it's because they really don't feel they have a choice.

This is why the alcoholic reaches for booze, the junkie for drugs, the sex-addict for porn. It's because deep in their hearts they have a subconscious need that must be satisfied, and the bottom line is, they haven't learned to meet that need in a way that truly serves them.

Since they can't see any other way, they haven't got a choice.

The dictionary defines the word habit as "an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary." An addiction meanwhile, can be defined as a habit you can't break without feeling some adverse effects. At that point it becomes a matter of accurately assessing those effects, and then making your decision accordingly.

In either case, there is one thing you must know before dealing with an alcohol addiction...

There is always a choice.


The Biggest Choice of All: Personal Responsibility.

The good news is, you already have everything you need to get where you want to go. You have a mind that thinks, a body that feels, and a soul that knows the way. The challenge is getting them all to agree, especially when your mind keeps trying to control the show.

But who is really in charge of your life? Is it you, or is it your mind? Are you the master of your thoughts and behavior? Or are you a slave to your own mental impulses?

Consider your actions in life. Everything you do can be attributed to one of two things: Your need to avoid pain, or your desire to gain pleasure. Test this out for yourself. Think of anything you might do today, and see if it can't be reduced to one of these primary motivations. Here's a few examples:

Read a book? Gain pleasure.
Pay a bill? Avoid pain.
Go for a walk? Gain pleasure.
Lie to your boss? Avoid pain.
Sleep in? Watch a movie? Answer the phone? Maybe a little of both.

The point is, all your actions, even the actions you really don't like, originate from either a positive or negative impulse. And every impulse is nothing more than a suggestion that your mind has served up for you to do with as you will. The problem is, being unaware of the essential relationship between yourself and your mind, you react to every thought as if it were a command.

Consider your thoughts for a moment. You have both negative and positive thoughts to choose from. You have negative thoughts to protect you from danger, and you have positive thoughts to bring you delight. The best way to think of this is having a negative mind that wants to avoid pain, and a positive mind that wants to experience pleasure.

But then you have a conflict. To your negative mind, all the potential pleasures in life involve some kind of risk, so it doesn't want you to go there. And to your positive way of thinking, you can't fully experience the pleasures in life while you keep holding yourself back, so you disregard the danger.

So here's Flo standing in front of her refrigerator. On the outside she appears quite calm, but inside there's a battle raging over whether or not she's going to reach in there and grab that slice of chocolate cake. Her positive mind is saying "MMMMM! Won't that cake taste yummy!" While her negative mind keeps saying "No! Don't do it! You're already big as a whale!"

Can you think of a similar example for yourself? A time when you were torn between two possible courses of action? In that situation, what was the pleasurable experience you wanted, and what was the pain or danger you perceived?

Personal response ability means the ability to respond. It is the ability to see various points of view, decide what serves your purpose, and take effective action. It means having the confidence and maturity to figure things out for your self. This way, you can actually move forward instead of feeling stuck or trapped.


The Challenge is...

If you only have two options - pain or pleasure - then it's not really a choice. It's a dilemma. So that's when you have to be clear. Sometimes it is good to think in negative terms, carefully considering the potential threats. And sometimes it is good to think in positive terms, focusing on the potential opportunities.

The third option is to simply stop and be neutral for a moment. To look at both sides equally and objectively before deciding what serves you best.

The reason you struggle is because you have not yet learned how to effectively direct your mind. You are bouncing back and forth between extremes, with no stability in between. Because you have no neutral way to assess your situation, you can't see all your options. Because you can't see any options, you remain a victim of your fears and desires.

But there is a path with your name on it. One that takes into consideration both the positive and negative points of view, and enables you to make decisions according to your vision, values and objectives. To find that path, there is one decision that must be made before any other decision will matter:

Either your mind will serve you, or you will serve your mind. Either you are going to find a way to master your thoughts, or you will always be a victim of your own mental impulses. There is no way to succeed without addressing this simple truth.

You will then obtain joy in your mind and throw away your pain.

Here is one big reason why so many people fail to control their behavior, or never seem to get what they truly want: You can't hold "not doing something" as a reliable target. That's because your mind needs a subject to focus on.

This means that the very act of trying NOT to focus on something, brings that thing into your field of thought. For example, when I say "Don't think of a green tomato", what do you immediately think of?A green tomato. In other words, focusing on what you don't want, gives you no way of putting the problem behind you. Similarly, when someone says "I don't want to drink anymore", or even "I need to stop drinking", what is the subject they are actually focused on? "Drinking". This is one reason why so many alcoholics are always in recovery, but never fully recovered. Drinking is always on their mind. They haven't learned how to move past it.

Whenever you say what you don't want, for example, I don't want to smoke, don't want to drink, don't want to feel bad, broke, lonely, sick, stupid...it's kind of like going into a grocery store with a shopping list of all the things you don't want to buy: "I don't want bread. I don't want milk. I don't want butter..." With such a list, you could spend all your time in the store trying to avoid certain items, without ever actually getting the things you really need!

You've got to do better than that. It's not enough to keep on counting the days you have managed to avoid a certain behavior. Now there is something you must figure out, before you can truly set yourself free. You must determine the unmet needs that are driving your behavior.

Start here: What are the needs that are currently being fulfilled by your unwanted habit or addiction? In other words, what are the good feelings you get when you do it? How does it make you feel on the upside?

Simply by acknowledging the benefit of your actions, you gain perspective on what you want. And by thinking about what you want, as opposed to whatever you are trying to avoid, it effectively shifts your focus and immediately points you in a better direction. Having a clear picture of what you actually want to feel or accomplish, puts you in a far better position to assess your options for getting there.

So it's great that you have decided it is time to deal with your smoking, gambling, sex, food, drug, or alcohol addiction. Now you must figure out what "dealing with it" actually looks like to you. Eventually, you have to have a way of knowing the job is finally done, otherwise you are in for a never-ending battle. If you don't have a clear picture of what success in this area actually means to you, then how can you possibly achieve it? How can you come up with an effective strategy to get somewhere, when you haven't even decided where you actually want to be?

Now is the time to be really flexible in your approach, and start asking yourself better questions. For example:

"How will I be certain that I'll never have to worry about another relapse?" Or "How will I know when I have dealt with this problem once and for all?

Reject That You Are Powerless

From the book Set Yourself Free - The Guide for Drunks, Smokers, Addicts and Millionaires by Michael Highstead.

Many years ago, while struggling with my addictions, I went to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, to see what I could learn. Without knocking the value of their traditions, the first thing I saw there was that A.A. would be a good place to sell coffee and cigarettes. People were consuming vast quantities of both.

I found this disturbing because for all their best efforts, it was clear that many of the folks who had taken the twelve steps, hadn't really gained freedom from their addiction - they had simply replaced one unhealthy habit with another. While I was in no place to judge other people's methods, I felt there was definitely something missing. Something that wasn't quite being addressed.

Nowhere was this more apparent than in the Chairman directing the meeting, whom I spoke with privately afterward. "My alcoholism is a disease," he insisted, "It's something I have no control over. But smoking I can quit anytime." "So why haven't you?" I asked, genuinely curious.

Blank.

He just stood there for a long minute, before finally saying "I dunno."

This from a guy who claimed he'd been "clean and sober" for over twenty years, but was still smoking like a chimney. Twenty years later, even if he's no longer drinking, I felt he was still the victim of a diseased way of thinking. One that causes people to mask or deny their feelings rather than face up to them directly.

I recognized it because I knew it was the same thing I had often done myself. Whether it was through drugs, sex, gambling, or drinking, at one time or another, all those things had given me temporary relief and pleasure, at the expense of genuine health and happiness.

For me, that was the beginning of a lengthy study into the patterns and processes of addiction, but it took several more years before I finally had the courage to confront myself at the deepest level. To fully examine my views not just on what I perceived to be other people's unhealthy behavior, but far more difficult, and far more liberating, to fully explore my own limiting beliefs.

Eventually, what I found are a few simple truths that anyone can use for some additional perspective on their "dis-ease". A word I now define as nothing more than a sense of mental, physical, or spiritual discomfort; a call to action; or simply an individual's longing to be whole.

If you want to change your life, there are plenty of methods out there. There are many products you can buy to immediately change the way you feel, and many organizations eager to help you change the way you think. Often for no better reason than to gain greater comfort or security for themselves.
But if you want to improve your life, you must become responsible for your own health and happiness. Accept you have a problem, but reject that you are powerless.

By unconsciously buying what other people are preaching, in effect giving up your own personal response ability, you could easily be drawn into all kinds of fantasies. You could spend the rest of your days believing you have found an answer, without ever having to face one real and sobering question. A question like: "How will you know when you have fully recovered?"